Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
