You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
