Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
