Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
