Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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