Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
