There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
