After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
