She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
