I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I need a beard to bite.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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