those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
