shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
