please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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