he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
