great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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