i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
