this beer tastes like vomit already
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
