You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
