Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
