Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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