I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
