It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
