google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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