YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
