she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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