Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
