Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
