I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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