I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
