Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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