So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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