I think i peed on brittanys purse
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
