You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
