it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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