So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
