I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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