areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have tasted many bathrooms
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
