Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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