i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
