so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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