Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't deserve a penis
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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