Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You ruined the universe
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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