He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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