there was a trapeze. enough said
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
