so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
