just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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