Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm always down for nudity.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
