Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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