I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
