there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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