Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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