Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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