So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
