So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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