there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
