we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
