my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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